Ahh my wonderous life.

In the past year its been a bit turbulant in my relationships. I felt like I was on a never ending roller coaster until about from September until May. Before me and Tom finally broke up my life was a living circus. I was being yelled at constintantly for anything and everything. Slowly my moods started to be just as cynical as they were back in 2004 when my dad died. I started to be more opinionated on what I thought of people, which I've needed to do my entire life. I've been a shell person most of my life. I'm really an understanding person but at that time, I just didn't care. I was being pushed into quicksand and left alone with no help. Thats when Matt came into my life.

Matt has been a godsend. I've never been this full of life in my entire life. I feel so amazing when I'm in his arms. I love spending time with him and getting closer to him everyday. I've never thought about the future with someone as I have with him.

I knew of Matt in high school, we weren't friends persay but I knew who he was since he was with Amber and at one time she was my squad leader for a day haha. Well obviously he graduated, and then I did. I'd heard about Matt from Steph when they were "talking" but obviously just only hearing about him does only so much justice. I finally officially met Matt at Stephs grad party, we hit it off. But I was talking to Tom, unfortunately, at the time. I was attracted to Matt but I backed down since he was still talking to Steph and I was talking to Tom.

We started hanging out with Matt and Steph. Matt was back and forth from PA at the time so it was usually a treat to see him on weekends. We'd go shoot pool or just hang out. As time went on I got closer and closer to Matt. We'd text or call each other. I'd rant to him about Tom and apparently Tom did that same about me but I digress.

Things went south with me and Tom (as expected). So me and Matt became closer as things got worse with me and Tom. Matt went to South Carolina for next three weeks we were just talking, texting and luckily not running up a phone bill (thank you Alltel). I'd learned more and more about him everyday. The day he was coming home I expected him at about 4 or 5 and so I just went about my day. Throughout the day I got pictures that were "hello from where ever I am" and "hi again", the last picture I got was of my house at about noon, it just said "HI". I was confused, looked out my door and there he was! I ran out of the house and gave him a huge hug. He brought me really pretty orange roses too. We went to appreciation day, saw people that gave us looks of shock and confusion, happy faces, and some people we really weren't up for seeing but anyway. He came out to camp for the weekend (after meeting my mom, one time) and they loved him!

Matt’s been such a wonderful thing in my life and I couldn't ask for more. I've never had someone in my life that has been that I have been able to trust so completely. He's brought so much love to my life and I'm truly blessed to have him in my life. He’s brutally honest and I love it. He’s helped me break out of my shell person stage. I've been able to be more vocal about my life, about my thoughts. We've had such a short time together and yet it feels like so much longer, in a very very good way. I've actually thought about what my future would be like with Matt. What it would be like to be his wife, to be his lover, and to be his best friend for life. What it would be like to have children with him. And I've never been more thrilled to think that this time I have it right. I've found the man of my dreams and he was standing right in front of me. He’s become my best friend, and I cherish what I have with him and can't wait to see what comes next.


And I'm truly sorry to any of my friends that I upset or snapped at. I was stuck in a bad situation and didn't know how to get out. I'm still that understanding, tough girl I've been all along. Just had a couple mountains to climb along the way. I was stuck in quicksand without a helping hand. I found that helping hand and I'm back! And I'm here to stay!